I am starting to believe that we all have multiple personalities. It sounds silly, but I'm not joking. I am an educated, rational, and self confident person. I also have an ever changing drastic range of emotions that leave me feeling unqualified, insecure, needy, and all kinds of crazy! It is a lonely feeling that creates anxiety and even makes me feel hopeless at times.
The only way I get through it is to remember that no matter what I am going through, I am never alone because God said He would never leave me. No matter how insecure or rejected I feel when people don't appreciate or love me the way I want them to, God loves me and says I am worthy, valuable, and precious to Him. No matter how much I mess up, or how useless I feel, He says I have a purpose greater than myself.
He knows me. The parts of me that I keep from the world. The ugly side that I even try to hide from myself. He sees it all. He sees me. I mean he really sees me. The good and the bad. The logical and the crazy. The sacrifice and selfishness. He sees the mess. Yet, He loves me anyway.
Have you ever tried to reason with an unreasonable person? Or tried to speak truth to someone who has their mind set on believing a lie? Have you ever spent every ounce of energy and all available resources to help someone, only to watch them make the same poor choices and end up right back in the same situation they were in? I have done it way too many times. It felt like all of my efforts were wasted. I felt used, manipulated, and unappreciated. My feelings were hurt. My pride was bruised. My energy was depleted. I was angry. It made me want to stop trying, give up, and walk away and never look back. I have dealt with those difficult and ungrateful people who refuse to face reality and make responsible decisions. It is hard to admit, but I have also been that wretched person myself.
I have been both the encourager and the destroyer. I've helped many people and hurt quite a few others. I've been the voice of reason and the one who can't make sense of anything. I've sacrificed unselfishly and I've taken advantage of others. I have created order and chaos. I have followed the truth and lived the lies. I have been a cherished friend and the hated enemy. I am my greatest advocate and supporter, but I am also my biggest critic.
We are highly emotional beings and our thoughts and behaviors are easily influenced by people and circumstances. I get a little self righteous when I feel like I have been wronged. I get absolutely irate when someone I care about has been hurt. I crave justice and want retribution.
Then, I remember that Justice is fair. Fair means that things are equal. Fair doesn't have favorites. It applies to everyone, even me. That means that there are consequences for the actions of those sides of me that I would like to forget. That's where Grace comes in. Grace is when God gives me His love and forgiveness even though I don't deserve it.
I'm grateful for His amazing grace. I am so thankful that God doesn't see me the way I see myself. He doesn't give up on me when I let Him down. He has never thrown a selfish tantrum like I have done in the past. His love is always pure. He is the anchor that keeps me from drifting into dangerous waters.
Hebrews 6:19
We have this hope as an anchor for our lives, safe and secure.
His love and grace changes everything. He shines light to reveal His truth. He created me for more than this life. His purpose for me is bigger than my desires. He is always working in me. His power within me can change my thoughts, feelings, and actions if I let it. He understands my deepest pain and he binds my wounds. He knows the worst parts of me and forgives it all. I have chosen my way and rejected His, yet His love never fails me.
He has blessed His children with many gifts. I am convinced that the best way we can glorify Him is by sharing them with others. We can forgive ourselves and others because He has forgiven us. We can offer comfort and encouragement because He has walked with us through hard times. We are able to show love to others even when they don't love us back. We can give others a little Grace when we remember the many sides of us that don't deserve God's favor. God's greatest gift to us is His love. It's no surprise that His greatest command is for us to return His love and to share it with others.
I pray to have a heart like His and to love others unconditionally. I want to see the best, and forgive the worst in others and myself.
Some days it's easy to be kind, compassionate, and loving. There are also days when I fail and fall short. I am human and make mistakes. That is why I need His Grace. Nobody else is perfect either. That's why they need it too.
Ephesians 2:8-9
For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift—
not from works, so that no one can boast.
Grace is undeserved favor.
Nobody is worthy.
Nobody can earn it.
It is given freely because of His great love.
That's what makes it so amazing!
Click the link to enjoy the video.
No comments:
Post a Comment