Righteousness or Happiness? You choose.

About a month or so back, a friend said something to me that I just can’t get out of my mind. She told me that she would rather be righteous than happy, if she were given the choice. That is a profound statement. I don’t believe that she even realizes the impact that those words had on my heart.

She is going through a devastating situation. Her life has literally been torn apart and turned upside down by circumstances completely out of her control. She has been let down, betrayed, and disappointed by the person she trusted most in the world. She is grieving deeply. I don’t have words to adequately describe the intense pain that she feels. Just try to imagine how completely exhausted she is…emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

When something so awful and personal happens, it effects every part of you. You begin to doubt yourself. It makes you question everything that you once thought was absolute truth. It changes your personality. It even causes you think and process information differently. The person you were before the life altering event no longer exists. You become a new version of yourself.

Most of us have experienced this transformation to a degree, at some point in our lives. It is in those desperate times that we find out who we really are. My friend feels broken, weak, and hopeless at times. She doesn’t recognize her own strength, but I can see it. She has a strength of spirit that I admire. She has unwavering Faith in God. I’m not saying she isn’t human. I am sure she has screamed, cried, and even expressed anger towards God for allowing this to happen to her. She doesn’t understand why God didn’t stop it. She can’t comprehend why someone she cared so deeply for would treat her as if she never mattered at all. The hardest part is that life goes on. She still has to work, pay bills, take care of kids, and handle all of the daily struggles of life. When she slows down enough to rest, the hurt that she feels inside seems overwhelming and like it will never get better. From her perspective, it seems like the person who hurt her has not been effected and just continues to live what appears to be a happy life. That only intensifies her struggle and makes her long for happier times. There have been occasions when I have felt consumed by circumstances. I have longed to feel happy again and to be able to smile and laugh without the pain hoovering over me like a dark cloud.  I know she desires happiness too. Yet, she said that she would choose to be righteous even if it didn’t bring the happiness she wanted. There is so much wisdom in those words.

Happiness is an emotion that is based on circumstances. It changes depending on what is going on in the world around you. My friend isn’t feeling very happy these days. However, she has the joy of the Lord.

Galations 5:22-23a

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Joy comes from God. It is a gift He gives to those who choose to place their faith in Him. Joy is a feeling so deeply embedded in our spirit that it remains no matter struggles we are facing. Joy comes from a relationship with our Heavenly Father through His son, Jesus Christ. We find our greatest joy when we live in a way that is pleasing to Him. Happiness is fleeting and based entirely on our emotional state and current situation. Joy is not dependent on anything that is happening in this crazy world. It comes from God and will never fade away.

I know many people dealing with issues that seem bleak. Some of those people are Christians and draw strength from God. They still have the Joy of the Lord in spite of what they are facing. They have a greater understanding of life. They know that God created us for His good purposes. He made a way for us to escape this life when our time comes and spend eternity in Heaven with Him. It will be a paradise more beautiful than I can even imagine.

The people that have not chosen to put God first in their lives, don’t know what joy feels like. They are not able to see anything but their depression, anger, anxiety, or selfish desires. When we allow our own desires to become more important than doing what is right morally and in the eyes of our Creator, we may quickly find ourselves in a place we never wanted to be. This downward spiral can happen to anyone. It has happened to me.  We have to stay on guard against these lies that we let ourselves believe. We have to be aware that our selfish thoughts can turn into selfish and destructive actions quickly if we don’t put a stop to it. Many lives and families are ruined when people start loving themselves more than they love God or anyone else.

For those of us who recognize all that He has done for us, we want to honor Him with our lives. One of the ways we do that is by choosing righteousness. There have been times when I have made the wrong choice. Those choices may have given me instant gratification, but they ultimately stole my peace. Every day we are faced with decisions. One of the most important decisions is what we allow our minds and hearts to focus on. Will it be honoring God, or pleasing ourselves?

 

Given the choice, I would choose righteousness over happiness.

My friend may feel like her world is falling apart and that she has lost herself somewhere in all of the pain. In reality, this situation has revealed some deep truths about who she is. She is one of the strongest women I know. She is a fighter. She is a defender of her Faith. She guards her heart and mind against the lies of the enemy. She perseveres in spite of the pain. She chooses righteousness above personal happiness.
 

Proverbs 4:23

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.

I don’t know what you may be struggling with. Life can be extremely difficult to navigate. There are so many choices to make. We get in a rut at times and feel like we are missing out on things we may want and don't have. We start to feel burdened by responsibilities, jobs, the challenges of parenting, health issues, financial problems, or conflicts in relationships. The issues are different for everyone. Sometimes, we literally just want to run away and start over. If we allow ourselves to focus on those things, we will miss the blessings. God’s light is always there, even in the shadows. We have to learn to live a life of gratitude. We need to stop those negative thoughts that lead to selfish actions. Those actions eventually hurt everyone you care about. Selfishness is destructive.

Instead, we have to redirect our thoughts to who God is and what He has done for us. All of those things you want to run away from… the responsibilities, the job, the kids, the relationships… they are blessings! There are people who are homeless and unemployed. There are couples who were not able to have children. Many people would give anything to have the relationships that you do. Those health issues you are dealing with mean you are alive and have been given another day on Earth. The problems here are temporary. If you look close enough, you can always find something to be thankful for.

We don’t have control over what other people do or say to offend or hurt us. We can lash out in anger and retaliate. We can wallow in self-pity. We can give up and allow it to destroy us. Or, we can stand firm in Faith and have the joy of the Lord regardless of our circumstances.

We are all tempted at times. Our thoughts trick us into believing that we would be happier if we could just follow our own path. We get tired of always doing the right thing. We wonder about the road we didn’t take. Then those thoughts lead us to stray from the path God planned for us. He hasn’t asked us to do the right thing because he doesn’t want us to have any fun. He wants us to live in a way that is honoring to Him because He loves us. He knows that our path leads to destruction and His way leads to life.

Matthew 7:13-14

Enter through the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the road is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who go through it. How narrow is the gate and difficult the road that leads to life, and few find it.

We can choose to take control of our thoughts, or we can allow those thoughts to become actions that destroy lives. We can choose to live intentional lives of purpose greater than ourselves, or we can choose personal happiness and selfish ambitions. We can choose to focus on the bad in every situation, or we can thank God for our overflowing blessings.

Choices matter. They effect more than just yourself. More importantly, they effect your relationship with God. Bad choices can have a ripple effect that reaches farther than you can even imagine.

Will you choose righteousness and all of the peace, joy, and security that comes with it, even if it means sacrificing your personal desires and fleeting happiness?

 

Today is a gift. It will be full of choices. Choose wisely.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am willing... to choose righteousness over happiness.