Finding peace even in the pain...

When you live with chronic and sometimes debilitating invisible illnesses, it can be a really lonely place. It feels like "normal" people can't comprehend the severity of the daily struggle. Especially when you look healthy on the outside. I have found that online support groups are a good place to encourage each other, share information about health and treatments, and even vent to those who can understand how difficult it can be. Last night as I was scrolling through my Facebook page, I saw a post from someone dealing with a chronic pain condition. She and others were having a crisis of Faith. They wondered why God would allow such things, and if He was responsible, why we should worship Him. We even talked about this in Sunday School yesterday. Someone was sharing an experience with an Atheist who could not bring himself to believe in God because of all of the horrible things that happen in this imperfect world that we are living in. I think if we are being honest, most of us have had those same questions when life gets tough.

I have multiple illnesses and constant pain and exhaustion that I can't even put into words. I also deal with depression and anxiety, as well as some really difficult relationships and past emotional hurts that I haven't completely healed from. My Mom and grandmother died a few years apart and I will miss them and grieve the rest of my life. I know that almost everyone can relate to some of these same heartbreaks and problems. I have many dark days when I start to feel hopeless. I usually have a good cry and take some time to talk to my Savior because I know He won't leave me in that dark and scary place alone. He always comforts me and lifts my spirits.

I know God didn't do any of this to me but, He has allowed it. I don't know why. I have prayed for a miracle and for healing but so far He hasn't done that. He promises to use all things for good for those that love Him. I can say that I have gotten closer to him. I need Him. I'm dependent on him because I can't deal with this on my own. One of the responses on the thread said that God won't give you more than you can handle. I don't agree with that at all. Life often throws more at us that we can deal with on our own. God promised He would never leave us or forsake us. He didn't say life would be easy. He did say that He would be with me and walk with me through the dark times. I can't handle any of this on my own. I need His help. I know He is giving me strength every day and His presence in my life is such a comfort. He told us we would have trials in this life and that we would suffer. Jesus suffered for us. He did that so that if we believe in Him we can spend eternity with him in Heaven. That's one thing that gives me hope.Whatever we face here is only temporary.We have something so much better to look forward to.

While I am here, I'm going to try to just trust Him and grow closer to Him, and try to encourage others along the way. If I didn't suffer from these things, how could I relate to others who are hurting? How could I help them when they feel hopeless? Maybe that's part of the reason Jesus chose to be a suffering servant and savior. So that He could truly understand the depth of our pain and struggles. It's always easier to relate to someone who knows how you feel, because they have experienced it themselves. I know it's hard to have faith sometimes. It's even harder to understand all of the "why's". I don't have all of the answers. I don't know why He hasn't intervened to heal when it's within his power. I do know that He has never left me and that he loves me.

Sometimes there's a bigger plan that I don't understand because I can't see the whole picture, but He can. I trust Him with my life because He gave it to me and it all belongs to Him anyway. He understands my pain and He does care. He may not take it away, but He will help me deal with it. It has taken awhile to have this peace in spite of the struggles, but I finally do have it. I hope that any of you that may be suffering with any number of issues today will also trust Him and receive that peace that only He can give.

There is always something to be thankful for! Even when the pain of life feels too much to bear, there is hope in God and His promises.

He suffered and died for me so that I can face each day with the hope of a pain free and joyous eternity in Heaven. He died for me, so I am willing to live for Him.

 

Hebrews 13:5

... He Himself has said, I will never leave you or forsake you.