I watched my son teach my 5 year old granddaughter how to shoot a gun for the first time. He was so sweet and patient with her. He helped her hold and aim. He told her how to focus, breathe, and when to pull the trigger. He had his arms around her and spoke quietly the whole time. She knew her Daddy was right beside her, and she was fearless! It melted my heart.
Memories took me back to the time my Dad taught me to shoot. He wasn’t my biological father, but had been the only Dad I really knew since I was 3 years old! When I was a little girl, he taught me to shoot the same way that my son taught his daughter. My son used the same words and techniques with my sweet granddaughter. You see, his grandfather taught him when he was a little boy.
That may not seem like much. We are all taught things that we share and pass down to others. But, it was bigger than that for me.
As I stood there watching my son and granddaughter, on the land my parents lived and died on, I was taken back to happier times. My Dad made me feel like the most important person in the world when I was little. As I got older, everything was different. He changed. He was mean and abusive. The Daddy that had guided me with kindness and love was lost somewhere inside himself with his own personal demons.
The bad years far outweighed the good.
When he passed away, I mourned for the Daddy that loved and believed in me when I was a child… but, at the time of his death, that man hadn’t existed for me in many years.
As I watched my son, I was reminded of the love my Dad had shown me all those years ago. It made my heart smile. In that
moment, I knew that the things I told myself about him never loving me were lies. He did love me when I was a child. The intentions of love are pure and selfless. We recognize and respond to genuine acts of kindness. They leave lasting impressions and often create a ripple effect that spans generations.
I don’t know why my Dad changed and was no longer able to love me or show kindness. I had allowed my injured inner voice to convince me that he had never cared about me. The weight of that was crushing.
In time, I realized that everyone will eventually let you down. Some people even set out to destroy you. Others unintentionally hurt or neglect you. Most don’t even consider you at all. We are all struggling, broken, imperfect people with our own selfish needs, desires, and motivations.
Time allowed me to comprehend that and gave me the ability and grace to accept it. It also showed me God is bigger than anything I will ever face. He created me, loves me, and knows me better than anyone. My relationship with my Heavenly Father gave me the strength and security to navigate complicated relationships. Knowing that I had a Father that wanted to be part of my life was comforting.
Watching my son and granddaughter, I realized that love never dies. In that moment, I was a 5 year old little girl that could conquer the world with her Daddy’s arms wrapped safely around her. The impact of Daddy’s patient teachings were now being realized by a 3rd generation. She may never know that her great grandfather once taught her Dad and me how to shoot. I hope she will always remember the way it felt to be held, loved, safe, and supported.
I had let the pain of so many heartbreaking years steal the memories of those sweet and lasting moments. One good thing that comes from reliving past trauma, is learning not to repeat it. Sometimes, the trials of life feel like they outweigh the good times. Negativity is all consuming. Maybe that is why God gave me that glimmer of comfort. To remind me of how powerful simple acts of kindness can be. A single moment of love has the ability to change lives forever.
The older I get, the more I understand these simple truths. Reflecting on all of the people I have loved and lost is bittersweet. Sometimes, relationships are difficult. Abuse is never acceptable. But- all of the influences shape us into the person we become. Sometimes, pain and disappointments make us bitter. From now on, I want to focus on those precious moments of love that have been shared with me…. Regardless of how many bad times surrounded it.
Life is so very short. At the end of mine, I hope that my family and friends are able to forgive my shortcomings and failures. Mostly, I hope they will know how deeply I love them. I pray that they feel it so strongly that just overflows out of them and spills onto everyone in their path.
Many people don’t have a person in their life to model what unconditional love looks like. They may feel overwhelmed, hopeless, and alone. The good news is, nobody is ever alone. There is a loving Daddy in Heaven that is waiting for us to reach to him for help. I don’t fully understand how God is able to provide peace during the worst situations, but, I know He does. He has done it for me so many times.
We may not be loved or cared for the way we would like. That doesn’t mean we have to continue the cycle. Angry words, lies, and abuse lead to destruction if allowed to progress. We have no control over another persons actions. We can only control our reaction. We could retaliate and continue down the same devastating road. Or, we could learn the kind of person that we don’t want to be and take the necessary steps to change it.
If we would all make an effort to be the source of strength, comfort, kindness, and compassion that we all so desperately need, we could literally change the world. Love is eternal. It spans the gap of time. It endures all of the heartbreaks. It overcomes fear. It forgives. In its truest form, Love is the essence of our lives. If you have it, treasure it. If not, understand that you have the ability to show others the love you didn’t have.
Allow it all to shape you into a better person. Both good and bad experiences are important life lessons.
Choose people over problems. Love is never wasted. The ripple effect is immeasurable. Your kindness matters. YOU matter. You make a difference in the lives of people around you every day. You choose how you interact with others.
Are you a source of hope or despair to the world around you?
Interestingly, I have found that often times the words of comfort I have given to others… somehow find their way back to me when I need them. God is good like that. Another reminder that l am not alone and He will provide everything I need at just the right time.
The Holiday Season is difficult for many people for a variety of reasons. It’s the perfect time to start being intentional about our treatment of others.
No matter your circumstances, there is always something to be thankful for. I am thankful that God allowed me to remember those sweet moments with my Dad all those years ago. I am so grateful that my son also has a few fond memories of his grandfather. I hope that the generational chains that held us back for so long have been permanently severed. I pray that my granddaughter will always know the love of her Dad and that someday she accepts the life saving love of her eternal Father.
There are still many broken relationships between people I care for. For years, I thought I could “fix” the situation. I learned that I have no control over other people. All I can do is show kindness, give grace, love them through it, and pray that God will reveal the truth to those that need to understand it.
Love truly can conquer all. It starts with us.
